Drama chasing

Been watching this for the past hours. Had a good laugh watching retarded da lang with the mushroom head he is wearing and his jagged chin. And i didn't know da lang was pink panther's best friend. U can never guess why unless u watch this. A pity that the person only uploaded till episode 4. blah. ;)

loves smelly much. (:

Hello world :D

Exams over. Been to Thailand and back. :D I have 1.5 mths of holidays before hitting the books again. Srsly gotta sit down and plan on how to spend it wisely. other than the commitments i have on hand; namely vertical marathon event planning, gesl and inter hall games, i should be able to set aside 0.5mths for my loved ones. i hope smelly can quickly finish his paper and not worry so much abt them. can tell that he had put in much hard work and he deserve to perform well. just a lil luck lacking i guess. shall transfer all my luck to him till Saturday. ;) have been sleeping my way through since i came back. the crazy shoppings have worn me out. chatuchak and platinum mall are paradise for cheap buys. my buying power has instantly heightened by 10 times compared to expensive SG malls. went there with a small school bag and return with a 10kg bag. you know those u bought from thailand with cute imprints of cartoons. i just threw all my buys in and off i go. it is amazingly sturdy and trusty. planning to go bkk again next year. prolly ask my besties and sisters along. :)

Back on track

For those who read and care.

Thanks for all the encouragement. (:

Everything's great again.

All i need is a lil more faith in the things i do.

To trust me & everyone around me.

Annoying

It's 3.33am now.

I can't get down to work.

The thought of the 1yr10mths relationship that is being put to a full stop keeps me crying most of the time. 

I'm having project meeting at 12.30pm tomorrow and i have two unfinished individual project to be submitted next week too. Fucked up. No sleep tonight.

:(

Snail mail

I saw the email he sent me.

Tears rolled down my cheek as i read.

My take is that the short break which he thinks would be beneficial to us would turn into a long one and eventually a final break up.

Why the fear?

Because he, the one who is supposed to be there when i needed most is not there. Because, till then, he would not be the one i turn to again. Because, it seem that he can't make time for me but the things he want to do which is equivalent to I AM NO LONGER IMPORTANT in his life. I know this is not what he intended. Just that, i can no longer stand being the giver. I am tired. If you want to stand on his side and defend for him saying i was like that before, sorry, i can only apologise and regret on what has happened before and fall into a disappointed slum.

Whatever happens to the guy who showered all his attention on me? The guy who finds my blog even if it is a really private one? The guy who sends me comfort messages whenever he read that i am upset? The guy who flooded the entire text message with 100 ilu-s and other sweet messages every now and then to bring smiles on my face.  The guy who waits for me for 4hours. The guy who waited for 8 years to get into this relationship? (I am not sure about this part, but i hope that he has waited for me since primary six. How romantic right.) The reason why i wana be with him because he is a simple guy who loves me with all his heart. Forget about the simple part, i can no longer feel the love. I cannot bring myself to stay in this relationship. I shall not hold on to this wistful thought; he comes along with fate any longer. 

I miss the 'him' in the past.

The 'lost' time cannot be retrieved... 

I messed up.

To make things simpler, i take it as it has ended.

Never felt more singular.

There,

I am alone again.

Sitting in front of the huge television hoping for some comedy, but whatever showing are the very last thing i wana see.

Secret- the film we caught on our first date.
Sex and the City- okay?
License to Wed- again? the second time i'm watching in two days.
Featuring all the good man on earth.

Yay, i'm green in envy.
Would the perfect guy please stand up?

Hell, i'm drowning myself in a pile of sorrow shit again.

Heisnothinghemeansnothingheisnothingi'llbeokayi'mfinei'mstrongerthanwhatithink

Instantly, back on my feet again.

This is it.

I realised it's no longer because of my once a mthly issue.

It's because of the same problem, negligence.

Nobody is willing to take a step back. 

I guess it just started out at the wrong time.

The next time i look for a boyfriend, 

i wana date someone who is older and more mature so that he can take my willfulness. O yar, sends me flowers without me passing him hintsx1000.

It ended.

Tough but sure.

Could only swallow everything harsh on the receiving end

This is how you perceive me as...

Do things without thinking of consequences.

Expect to get whatever that is requested for.

Spoilt.

Weird.

Undeniably true.

You should have known i'm such brat the first time you meet me.

I've mellowed down a lot after all these while.

You should have recognised that too. 

I'm puzzled sometimes, cos i've fallen head over heels for you and i can't help but wanted to be involve in everything you do, to know more about you so that i know how to care for you. You're on my mind every minute and second. My friends can vouch for me. I've always mention you in front of them at the risk of  getting them irritated and start forming hate club. Goes to show how much you preoccupy my mind. I get angry when you shove me aside with something else you deem more important. Have you forgotten your number one you used to place. I understand that school should be your priority, but can you at least let me come in second? I felt i'm of least importance to you now.

Can you measure love with a ruler?

I think it's quite sad if you rationalise love.

I'll rather everyone turn into robots. period.